I left my harp in San Frank's Disco
Or, "Just what the heck is 'California Cuisine', anyhow?"

California is dangerous place. Not only are there silicon pirates and the threat of earthquakes, but your entire day can be ruined by a set of unfortunately placed teeth. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the United States!

There are many well-known things about San Francisco. Two are the Golden Gate Bridge and fog rolling in off the ocean. Here's two of them in one handy picture.	Maybe if we get up close...?	Fine, go hide. We'll look at the rest of the city for a bit.
San Francisco is so foggy because there's an ocean on the left and this big bay on the right.	When the fog clears, it's actually kind of pretty!	I wonder if the people living along this shore felt safe knowing that Alcatraz was nearby?
Alcatraz was apparently nearly escape-proof because people would freeze to death long before they could swim to shore. Weird but true.	We decided to skip the swim to Alcatraz and drive to a warmer beach. Despite that, the roads were still plenty dangerous. Steep and twisty, sharp dropoffs...and no guardrails for the most part!	This isn't officially a place to stop, despite the cars here.
Welcome to Stinson Beach, Harper-style!	I've heard about beaches like this...sandy, warm, pleasant....	...and totally dangerous!
It's not just the sharks that are dangerous. You gotta watch out for the riff-raff, too.	Instead, let's head down the beach to see what we can find...maybe some treasure!	One must remember to get their feet wet when at the Pacific Ocean.
A rock filled with mussels and other assorted sealife. Seafood heaven? No, just a shell-collector's dream.	I've always heard about barnacles, but I thought they were make-believe, like unicorns and Milton Berle.	They say all the stars are in Los Angeles, but you can see some at Stinson Beach, too.
Time to head back to the beach.	It all seems like such a normal outing...	UNTIL SOMEONE LETS ASHTON INTO THE PICTURE!
Meanwhile, back home, it becomes painfully obvious that Ashton is bald. Christine flees the scene.	She was so traumatizedby the big bald scalp that we had to try to cheer her up again.	Perhaps the sweet sounds of Brian's guitar might help?
No, because all he's playing is AC/DC riffs!	How about some wacky Canadian snack treats?	I knew that'd get her.
The first day, the beach wasn't so pleasant. The birds didn't seem to mind, though. This is Ocean Beach, right in the city.	Obligatory self-at-the-ocean shot.	There's money everywhere, if you count sand dollars.
These tracks appear to be leading downtown. I think I'll follow.	On the way, why not stop at the hippies' version of Mecca?	One of my tourguides was Lucy, appearing here in a very artsy shot.
There's more than one bridge in this town. This one takes you to Oakland, if you really wanna go there.	No, this isn't Venice, but Venice Beach is somewhere in this state.	Excuse me, but I think your ship just came in.
One of America's most famous buildings...do you think there's a pharaoh under there somewhere?	The hills in San Francisco are legendary. This is a milder grade than some.	This is a bit steeper.
The streets are so steep in places that it's the LAW to park with your wheels titled, to prevent parked cars from wandering down the street unassisted.	San Francisco has one of the largest Chinatown areas in North America, but it's not impervious to the corporate West, unfortunately.	Do you ever feel like you're up above it all?
The hills are alive!	Time to come back down to earth. Kinda. They have Dennys here, but it's a bit more upscale.	The food is still the same, though.
What can I say? It's the first cup of the day.	Although I didn't ride on any while there, I got a couple closeup looks at the US's only mobile national monuments.	One must do touristy things from time to time.
I'm not the only visitor here, though...you can smell a bunch more just around the corner from here.	The bay used to be too polluted, but now that it's cleaned up, sealions come and visit the tourists.	I think this one is waving at me! Aw, gee!
We can pretend we're not really acting like tourists by adopting disguises. This is Kremlor the Wicked.	This is the superhero, Ladybug Girl!	And this is...well, it's best not to think about it too much.
After a long day of sea lion smelling, hat wearing and walking, my hosts are tired. Me too. Time to head back home.	Home to a cat who pounces on you in the middle of the night. How cute!	Eventually all good things must end. Time to fly home.
Up over the mountains...	...up over big salty lakes...	...and up over the prairies that are so familiar. Till next time.

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