On the road to Edmonton
Or, "I wonder if Jack Kerouac ever stopped in Disley, Saskatchewan"

snow road, it's a highway!
Goodness knows why anyone would want to go on a fourteen hour roadtrip across the Canadian prairie in the middle of winter. Nonetheless, that's exactly what we did, heading from Brandon, Manitoba, to Edmonton, Alberta. Most of it looked pretty much like this. What did you expect, palm trees?
Al-cat-raz
 Notes from the back seat Plane, plain, plain.
When you go on a road-trip, first things first--you gotta put the cats in jail.
Then it's time to hit the road.
There's really not much out here sometimes. As they say, the Canadian prairie is a place where you can watch your dog run away. For three days.
Coffee, to CAP off a big breakfast
 This table is now at CAPacity Yes, but where did the put the rest of the body?
We stopped for breakfast in Moosomin, Saskatchewan, the town that time forgot. If you look carefully in the background, you'll see that almost everyone is wearing a cap.
This a bit blurry because I wast trying to be discrete, but this picture probably says more about the small town experience than an entire essay could.
Oh well, enough small-town fun. On with the rest of the trip.
Regina, half its regular size?
 the main drag Give it a squeeze.
Some say the best thing about Regina is seeing it in your rearview mirror. Not me, because we have to come back through here in about a week.
Occasionally you have to stop for gas. Here's a composite of the main drag of Chamberlain, Saskatchewan.
Mt. Blackstrap, aka the "Prairie Pimple". This is what passes for a mountain on the prairies. If you blink, you might miss it.
Two of a kind Two of the consiprators
Well, there's a bit of a blank spot here because after Saskatoon it got dark, and we couldn't really see much. I wish I could show you the Northern Lights just outside Lloydminster, but they didn't turn out.
So, with that, we skip to Edmonton, where we stayed with my mom's mom, aka my Baba. This is the woman who taught me to curse in Ukrainian.
And boy did she curse when she found out that my mom, along with my uncle and these two ladies (cousin Kay and Aunt Jean) arranged a surprise party for her 80th birthday.
Nice pot, man.
 She was winning so much on the video slots, she didn't want to come back to her own party! Trying to maintain an innocent face on the other side of this camera
This guy didn't have as much to do with it, he just wanted to show us how well-developed his gut is. Bravo.
And this is how she found out. Greeted by her husband (my Gido), her dog, some balloons, and a few dozen of her relatives cheering.
"You! You knew about this, didn't you?"
Playing nice
 Baba blew it. Call the Fire Department
I guess it's hard to stay mad at people who like you enough to throw a party for you.
If you think it's easy to blow out 80 candles, you try it sometime.
Okay, so it wasn't actually a full 80 candles, but it was enough to create a noticeable cloud of smoke afterwards.
This isn't the entire other side of the family, but it's close.
 Two more of a kind Charlie BIIIIIIIIG boy!
The other side of the family was represented too, even though it's much smaller. Both Aunt Lorna and my Grandma came for lunch and cake.

Okay, so it's not really an event for this side of the family, but it's still okay to visit with each other, right?
Charlie the cockatiel had to be put in the other room while the party was going on. Here, he relishes his freedom again.
Not so curious anymore
 stand back, I'm taking off! Yet two more of a kind
George is a bit older and blind, so he often just stands around in places that would be uninteresting to the rest of us.
Sometimes George just sits and barks, which agitates Charlie, who starts yelling "Whatcha want, huh?" repeatedly.
Meanwhile, Uncle Bob and my long-lost cousin Jason go looking for girls together...on the Internet.
-20, hey it's warm out today!
 Give me a break Chalk it up to...um, chalk.
I think it's pretty obvious that we didn't come up here for the balmy weather.
Instead of going outside, we all practiced our pool.
Some of us needed more practice than others.
Gettin' snookered!
 clearing the table pbbbt to you too
At about this point, the true pool sharps stepped up to the table to kick butt.

Everyone looks on as the master shows us how to clear the table.
Dad declines the opportunity to try to become the new pool champion. Instead, we decide to go to West Edmonton Mall.
If there aren't enough accidents this week, the cop cars will ram your bumper.
 You should have seen the size of this thing before! yes, the trees are real
There's a lot of traffic outside the mall, thus the sign. It makes you wonder, though: how do enforce a high collision rate?
Here, an unfortunate farmer finds out firsthand how bad the collisions can be, as his tractor is smashed down to the size of a child's toy!

Let's be frank, West Edmonton Mall is a monument to excess. This part right here is probably the most normal section. And it's got full-grown live trees.
loopy
 Gretzky skated here Go soak your head, right at WEM!
This is a mall that has a full-sized roller coaster in it...
...a full-sized ice rink...

...a waterpark, complete with wavepool and waterslides...
Canada's entire navy
 They work for fish, even though they're smarter than we are. arrrr, Billy
...submarines...
...dolphins...
...a pirate ship...
They say he walked the plank
 talk about od'ing on chocolate Goodbye, spending money
...a place where a man drowned while having a midnight swim...
...a tribute to Bourbon Street, complete with a place called Death by Chocolate...
...a store to buy your Hello Kitty toaster and air freshener...
Talk about high-sticking!
 believe it or not, that tray weighs 500 pounds time to hit the road
...a pub sign that may or may not be disgusting...
...and my cousin Kelly.
Well, with the relative, the mall and the party under our belt, it's time to head home again.
some of my relatives lived here
 pysanka is not coffee with number 1 in it. betcha can't pick this up with one hand, like you could with the old ones
On, on, past the historic Ukrainian village.
On, on, past the world's largest freestanding pysanka (Easter egg).
On, on, past the new concrete grain elevators.
on the steel horse I ride
 mmmm, coffeeeee Okay, so you can't really lift this with one hand, either.
On, on, past the iron horses pumping up crude oil in Lloydminster.
On, on, past the Tim Hortons, after grabbing coffee and Timbits.
On, on, past the home of the Jolly Bunfiller (I think).
Borden bridge ain't falling down, it's just not on the main highway anymore.
 geeze, not again Mmmmm?
On, on, past the old Borden bridge.
And since the weather was starting to suck, we stopped in Saskatoon. Dinner was at Denny'd. Where else? It appears in almost every other travelogue.
Of course, I've got to show you what I had.
he looks so real
 Hey mom, is this where Disleyworld is? sun sun, come out to play
While stopping over for the night, I met up with Roger, who is still more familiar to me as a cartoon.
Next morning, back on the road. On, on, past a place that's halfway between dismal and diddley.
The weather was pretty grim, though certainly better than it was the previous day.
drive between the lines please
 now if I could only find the apple home, I'd be able to get a frame of reference bet you could see that joke coming from a mile away.
There was snow on the road pretty much all the way from Saskatoon to Regina, and beyond. Part of living in Canada, really.
This sign always scared me. What kind of experiments are they doing that they would need to have a special home for oranges?
Talk about going off the tracks, eh...?
this province is not actual size
 oily beasts Is that a glare I see?
When you see the big blue Manitoba on the side of the road, you know you're getting close to home.
When you see the oilhorses in Virden, you're even closer.
Just gotta retrieve the cats from jail...
Whew  
...and then we're back home just in time to shovel out and freeze our butts off. Yay!

All photos taken with the Canon S100 Digital Elph.
Click here for the full-sized versions or click on any of the thumbnails for a larger version which is somewhere in between..